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WELCOME TO THE PROPHETIC ZONE!
Prophet Kwame Osae Djan's Blog-- THE PROPHETIC ZONE
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Funny. Show all posts

Monday, 10 June 2013

FUNNY STORY ABOUT HUMILITY



After getting all of Pope Benedict's luggage loaded into the limo (and he doesn't travel light), the driver notices that the Pope is still standing on the curb. "Excuse me, Your Holiness," says the driver, "Would you please take your seat so we can leave?" "Well, to tell you the truth," says the Pope," they never let me drive at the Vatican, and I'd really like to drive today."

"I'm sorry but I cannot let you do that. I'd lose my job! And what if something should happen?" protests the driver, wishing he'd never gone to work that morning.

"There might be something extra in it for you," says the Pope.

Reluctantly, the driver gets in the back as the Pope climbs in behind the wheel. The driver quickly regrets his decision when, after exiting the airport, the Pontiff floors it, accelerating the limo to 105 mph.

"Please slow down, Your Holiness!!!" pleads the worried driver, but the Pope keeps the pedal to the metal until they hear sirens.

"Oh, dear God, I'm gonna lose my license," moans the driver.

The Pope pulls over and rolls down the window as the cop approaches, but the cop takes one look at him, goes back to his motorcycle, and gets on the radio.

"I need to talk to the Chief," he says to the dispatcher.

The Chief gets on the radio and the cop tells him that he's stopped a limo going a hundred and five.

"So bust him," says the Chief.

"I don't think we want to do that, he's really important," said the cop.

The Chief exclaimed, "All the more reason!"

"No, I mean really important," said the cop.

The Chief then asked, "Who ya got there, the Mayor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

Chief: "Governor?"

Cop: "Bigger."

"Well," said the Chief, "Who is it?"

Cop: "I think it's God!"

Chief: "What makes you think it's God?"

Cop: "He's got the Pope as a driver!!

Friday, 24 May 2013

JOKES GALORE!!

Akpors was fond of puttn
his
wife photo inhis wallet
so one day d wife asked
Him
Wife:Y z my foto always in
ur
wallet
Akpors: wen am in
trouble...i
just look atit and d
problem
disappears
Wife:hmm...do u c how
miraculous i am in ur life?
Akpors:...I just look ur
picture and say to my self
"wat problem could be
bigger
dan this"?..
.............................................................................................................................................................................................................
just for laughs 
Statuses we would be updating on FB,
Twitter and BBM if we were in the
times of Moses, Noah, Adam and
Abraham:

1. Guys its scary, Lot's wife just turned
into a pillar of salt #shaking#

2. Pimping my camel, Jerusalem here i
come..

3. Just chilling in first class at Noah's
ark, the view here is fantastic.. But this
Lions
keep staring at me weird. #Noah's
voyage#

4.Chilling with Moses by Mt Sinai. some                                                   

miracles going on here..
5. Eve and hubby got banished, they
ate the forbidden fruit. I mean who
does that?
#smh#

6. Jacob's status: Things we do for
love, cant believe i served her father for
14 years just to get her. Love u Rachel

7. Some people are so cruel hey.
Cain how do u kill your own brother?
RIP
Abel

8. One of Jesus' disciples post :Wat a
long day.. Walking and preaching the
gospel.
Now chilling with my brothers. These
guys
are funny..(LLP) Laughing Like
Pharaoh..

Gm
#dee changed
 

JOKES

AKPORS: Please, send an ambulance fast! My friend just had an accident...
He's bleeding from d nose and
ears, and I think both of his legs are broken!

OPERATOR: Where is ur location?

AKPORS: Gba--ja-bia--mi la Street.

OPERATOR: Please, spell d Gbajabiamila pls.
[minutes of silence]

OPERATOR: Are you there?
[Still silent]

OPERATOR: Hey, mister! Are you there!?

AKPORS: [Panting] Erm...Erm...so sorry for d delay. I couldn't spell
Gbajabiamila. So, I've dragged him to Oni street. Should I spell it now?

One word for Akpors?

Thursday, 23 May 2013

CHURCH JOKES!



This is a real story that happened in the KUTU'S international church Ghana Sunyani New town. There lived a poor boy of age 23. This boy had been an orphan since infancy. The boy was very religious and always sleeps in the church premises. One day after his usual bedtime prayers his late grandmother appeared to him and gave him 5 numbers to stake. The boy became confuse and wondered how a Christian child will stake lotto, so he decided to consult his pastor. When he informed the pastor, the pastor told him it was the plan of the devil. He said the devil is trying to make you sin. He even added if the lord will bless you it will not be through lottery. So the pastor collected the number to pray over it.
The next morning the boy heard from a local radio that all the numbers given to him by his late grandmother dropped, so he ran straight to his pastor office to inform him.
The boy: Pastor all the numbers dropped last night.
The Pastor: Are you really Sure.
The Boy: Yes, i heard it myself.
The Pastor: The Pastor then Jumped with excitement and shouted i am now a billionaire. I have broken the lottery machine.
What would you have done when you were to be in the guys shoes?

JUST FOR LAUGHS!!!



One day, Jesus was walking with his disciples in a wilderness, all the disciples were very tired and hungry due to the day's stress. So, Jesus ordered his disciples to pick up a stone each. (the
disciples didn't understand but complied). Judas was so angry and hungry and so, he picked up a very small pebble, whilst the other disciples picked up big stones, after sometime, Jesus commanded each disciple's stone to turn to bread, except Judas' whose small pebble turned to dough-nut, Judas became very angry as he watched the other disciples eat their huge loaves of bread. Later in the evening, they were still on the wilderness hungry, and Jesus ordered his disciples to pick up a stone each again and this time, Judas went to carry a huge rock. Jesus ordered them to sit on their stones to listen to the evening sermon, ''I got to sell this guy!'' Judas whispered.

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
 A pastor enters a taxi..........
Once he is seated he asks the cab driver to turn off the radio
because he must not hear music as decreed by his religion and, in the time of the Jesus, there was no music, especially Western music which is music of the infidel's and certainly no radio ...
So the cab driver politely switches off the radio, stops the cab and opens the back door.
The pastor asks him: “What are you doing man?”
The cabby answers: “In the time of Jesus there were no
taxis. So get out and wait for a
camel or donkey....LMAO